


Bros Before Hoes

by BlueOfSL



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Food Fights, Light-Hearted, M/M, Suga is secretly a mind reader, bros before hoes, daichi is pissed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-14
Updated: 2020-03-14
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:15:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23141554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueOfSL/pseuds/BlueOfSL
Summary: Kuroo and Bokuto go out on a bros night without Daichi. Before Kuroo leaves, he pisses off Daichi so much that he looks towards Suga for help.
Relationships: Kuroo Tetsurou/Sawamura Daichi
Comments: 6
Kudos: 66
Collections: Haikyuu Valentines





	Bros Before Hoes

**Author's Note:**

> This is such a late valentines gift exchange post oopssssssss. But at least I got this up!

“Oh don’t give me that, Sawamura.” Kuroo sighs at him. “Yesterday you said that you were ok with me hanging out with Bokuto this evening! Now you’re saying that I can’t?”

“Yeah, I am. Seriously Kuroo, I think that Bokuto is only making you into an even bigger asshole.” Daichi mutters.

“Sorry babe but--” Kuroo wraps an arm around Daichi’s shoulders. “bros before hoes.” Before Daichi could really react to what Kuroo said, he was out the door cackling obnoxiously down the dormitory’s hallway. 

_ Bros before hoes? Bros before hoes?!  _ Daichi was livid. Kuroo really had the audacity to call him a hoe and run.  _ That bastard. No wonder everyone calls him pain-in-the-ass Kuroo-san.  _ He wanted to throw something, to scream, anything. Instead, he swung open the door of his and Kuroo’s shared dorm and stormed down the hall. In the opposite direction Kuroo had gone. 

Suga opens the door with a scowl when the knocking becomes more obnoxious. He’s sure the whole complex could hear how loud the knocking is. The thought of telling the person to shut up quickly cut off when he saw Daichi, looking extremely pissed off. “Daichi are you alright-?”

“Bros before hoes.” Daichi hisses out, earning a questioning look from Suga. “I cannot believe that he said it to me.”

“Are you talking about Kuroo?”

“He said those exact words right to my face with-”

“Woah, woah wait. Come in first.” Suga cuts him off and drags him inside. His dorm was an organized mess. Textbooks were scattered around the room in neat piles and the smell of something sweet held the promise of a warm stay. Once the two were seated on wooden chairs at the small kitchen table, Suga asks, “So Kuroo really went there huh?”

“He seriously did! And he even ran out of the dorm while cackling like the bastardly coward he is.” 

“A bastardly coward that you’re in love with.” Suga cooes, only pissing Daichi off even more.

Daichi slides himself off of the chair and heads towards the door. “Y’know what? I thought you were going to be helpful. Guess I’ll just go to Asahi-” 

“Oh no you don’t.” Suga quickly moves to his side and pins one of his arms behind his back. “You’re taking this waaaay too seriously Daichi. It’s ok to let your boyfriend hang out with his friends right? I mean, he lets you come here all the time and doesn’t question it.”

“Yeah but-”

“Nuh-uh, no buts. He lets you come here all the time. I’m surprised with the fact that he hasn't questioned if you’re cheating on him.” A small sigh escapes Suga. “Since you’re here at ass-o-clock in the evening, you’re helping me make a new batch of cookies.”

Daichi huffs in amusement, wincing as Suga pushes his arm harder against his back. “Ass-o-clock--? Suga it’s 8 pm.”

“Nope, it’s now ass-o-clock in the evening. Come on.” Suga lets go of Daichi’s arm as they head towards the kitchen where baking supplies were strewn about. Pots and pans laid on every single counter and there was a pile of flour sitting on the floor. “You’re also helping me clean.”

“I swear to god. How is it that you can cook but not bake?” Daichi sighs to himself. He was actually the opposite of Suga, he could bake but not cook. Though they both knew that baking was much easier than cooking.

“Oh well I’m sorry Mr. Soon-To-Be-Gordon-Ramsay but I cannot be good at everything.” Suga protests.

protest“I wasn’t saying that you were-- you know what? Nevermind.”

“That's what I thought.” Suga says before flicking Daichi’s nose. The two get to work cleaning with a warm heavy blanket of silence. A rare occasion that happens on their dorm level. Bokuto and Kuroo, whenever they’d meet would cause such a ruckus that the neighbors below them had called the cops on them one night. It was during winter break and Bokuto had the fascinating idea to make a ‘small’ experiment in his dorm room. Of course, that experiment had gone wrong, and Asahi almost screamed when he and Daichi ran into the room. The whole floor was covered in green goop. Daichi had to slap his hand over Kuroo’s mouth to stop him from making some stupid remark when the cops came. Which would have probably gotten him arrested. Just thinking about that memory gives Daichi a headache.  _ Wait, what if he--? _

“He’s not going to ditch you y’know?” Suga says. Daichi’s hands stiffen over the stack of pots he was lifting up to a counter.  _ How was he able to tell?  _ “I know because whenever I see you two together, Kuroo always seems to be more relaxed around you and he talks much more freely. So I don’t think you should worry.”

The pots clink against the marble counter as Daichi softly places them down. His face contorted in a way even Suga couldn’t understand. “You’re right I shouldn’t worry. So, want me to start mixing the butter and sugar first?”

Ah, now there was a face Suga knew, contentment. “Yeah go ahead.”

The rare silence comes back but only for a few minutes.  _ Crack.  _ Something wet slid down the back of Daichi’s head. He could hear Suga trying to contain his laughter only to hear him lose it when he sees the perplexed look on Daichi’s face. Daichi reaches back all while staring at Suga. His hand grasps at the goop and brings it out in front of him.

“Egg.” Daichi eyes the golden yolk of the egg and smirks. Suga was going to pay.

“Daichi don’t you dare. I only hit you ‘cause you said I couldn’t bake. Daichi no don’t--!” Suga shrieks as remains of the egg is thrown at him, hitting his arms as he covers his head.

Hence starts the food fight. Flour, sugar, and even more eggs are thrown at the other as they mess up the whole kitchen, again. Now these are the usual shenanigans that happen in the dorms. At one point, Suga dumps a huge amount of flour on Daichi’s head after he had bombarded Suga with eggs. Daichi couldn't stop coughing and sputtering as Suga guffaws at him. Daichi flings some of the flour on his hair into Suga. In the end, Suga’s hair is all gross from the amount of eggs on it while Daichi’s hair is a white-ish gray color from the flour. The two are sitting on the floor with their backs against the kitchen walls catching their breath. They hear a knock at the door. Staring at each other, they knew the other would try to make them get up.

“Not it.” They say simultaneously. 

“Rock, paper, scissors shoot.” Both were showing rock. The knocking is more persistent now. They go again but this time, one gets scissors and one gets paper.

“You win so you go.” 

“What no, I thought loser goes?”

“Just go already! It could be Kuroo.” 

Daichi grunts as he stands to walk out of the kitchen and towards the door. He knows he looks like a complete mess but couldn’t care less at the moment. Daichi peeks through the small peephole in the door and makes a small noise of surprise when he sees a large, wrapped object blocking his view.  _ What could that be?  _ He opens the door just a hint only to be wrapped by a strong familiar arm into an unexpected side hug. Daichi panics and shoves whoever is hugging him into the hallway. The person yelps and falls down to the floor. The present, which was balanced on their other arm, slips out of their grasps and hits the floor with a heavy  _ thud. _ Daichi stares at the present.

“Bokutooo~ I toldja he wouldn’t like it~” The person at the door was actually a drunk Kuroo. Which is also the most annoying kind of Kuroo to deal with in Daichi’s opinion. And it turns out that Bokuto is also drunk like Kuroo, as he sways ever so slightly on his feet.

Suga is there in a moment and laughs when he realizes what the three have gotten themselves into.

“Aw come on Kuroo~. All he did was push you cause h-he was surprised.” Bokuto hiccups a little in the sentence.

“Nooo, it’s probably because he hates me~. I mean I left the poor bastard by himself after saying  _ that.” _ Kuroo whines.

“I’m right here you know.” Daichi deadpans. He cannot believe how childish Kuroo is acting. It’s worse than usual. 

Kuroo flings himself at Daichi, wrapping his arms around his waist. His head pushes into Daichi’s side and practically begs. “P-please don’t break up with mee~. You’re like my fluffy, strong cloud of heaven that I need and want to care for.” 

Daichi sighs, guess he should take him back to their dorm before Kuroo blacks out. He hoists Kuroo up to his feet by hooking his arms under Kuroo’s arms. Kuroo groans and slumps himself onto Daichi. Even though Kuroo is heavier than him, Daichi has trouble dragging him over to their room. All the while, Kuroo is muttering incoherent sentences into Daichi’s shoulder, saying how much he was sorry for earlier and how he should repay him. The door to their dorm creaks open as the two stumble inside. Kuroo hums happily as he sees the couch, pushing himself over to lay down onto it only to be held up by Daichi.

“Kuroo come on. We need to go to bed and I don’t think sleeping on the couch can fit both of us.” Daichi mutters tiredly. Kuroo slips away from Daichi’s hold and collapses onto the couch and then opens his arms in an inviting manner towards Daichi.

“You could sleep on top of me.” The fact that Kuroo’s tone seems almost sober is what pulls Daichi into Kuroo.  _ Perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad.  _ Daichi thinks as he carefully lets himself into Kuroo’s welcoming arms. He sinks himself into Kuroo’s warmth as sleep takes over the two of them like a weighted blanket. Kuroo’s arms wrap themselves comfortably around Daichi’s waist and Daichi couldn’t help but sigh in contentment. All thoughts of a potential breakup disappear with their consciousness. Although, they had forgotten to do one thing.

The door creaks open and Bokuto’s and Suga’s heads peek through. Before Bokuto could yell out anything, Suga clamps his hand over his mouth to shut him up. Bokuto makes a pathetic whining noise as Suga shushes him, pointing towards the sleeping couple on the couch.

“Just leave the present by the couch. I’ll go get a blanket for them.” Suga whispers to Bokuto who nods.

Suga quickly tiptoes towards the closet and finds an assortment of blankets, towels, and rags. He pulls out the largest fluffy blanket he can find and goes back into the main room to see Bokuto uncapping a sharpie and nearing the tip towards Kuroo’s face.

“Bokuto no!” Suga hisses quietly, dragging Bokuto all the way until they’re outside of the dorm room, locking the door behind them. Daichi slightly stirs from the sound of the door closing so suddenly. Bokuto and Suga walk side by side down the hall. Both unsure how to strike up a conversation surprisingly. Or perhaps they weren't up to it. Bokuto is still pretty drunk, but a little water from before the two went to Kuroo’s and Daichi’s helped him sober up. “So what was in the present?” Suga asks.

“Oh, that's for tomorrow’s Valentine's day.” Bokuto answers.

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> This is a gift to suntails on Tumblr! Happy super late Valentine!  
> https://suntails.tumblr.com/


End file.
